i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
sex in a hospital.. check
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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