YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
3pm strippers are depressing
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
