I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
