At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
