Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
