So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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