Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
