He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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