my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
