hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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