I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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