Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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