I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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