somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
