can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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