I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
