no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
