words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
