can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
