Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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