My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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