That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize