Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
