i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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