1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize