If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
