I have demons in me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
