I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
