i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if only i could text you this smell
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
