He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
