ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
