things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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