Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
