is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
