smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
