yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
