my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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