I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
