and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
