I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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