O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
