There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
