Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
