Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize