I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
