I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
