I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
