Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So vagazzling was a success
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize