Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
