I'm going to jail i love you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
