The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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