I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
