You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
