we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
