YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize